listening to mewithoutYou and feeling grim. I drank too much and stayed out too late and got too deep about shit and sounded like a fucking drunk student philosophising about life. jeeeeez.

My favourite flatmate is dropping out of uni, which leaves me in a house with all boys next year, it will be manic. Properly sad about losing someone I've really grown to love, but I can't expect her to stay here for selfish reasons and to look after me when I need someone to sit with at night.



In general people are being really nice to me at the moment, saying things that make me very happy. People I underestimated, so I feel pretty bad for ever doubting that they were nice people.


I'm overwhelmed by this constant feeling that something is going to happen, and that something is steering me. I work hard and I enjoy uni and try my hardest in everything I do so its not like I'm coasting along doing well, but I dunno, there's just this feeling that I'm going to be okay. Kerouac sums it up when he talks of letting go of the steering wheel and never veering off the road because somebody somewhere is in control of everything.

I have to go to the doctors now, so I've probably definitely jinxed everything and now I'm going to die or something.